Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Changing seasons.


A great notion enters through
a keyhole,
an insult
a praise
a slight
a fall
a crevice in the universe
or a desire to live.

No longer yesterday's self
I arrange my words
gestures
carefully
to appear the same to those paying attention
for those who need yesterday to remain in sight.

I have lost yesterdays,
with Mother's passing
loss of country
loss of faith.
I only had to don new apparel
drop the scarf
choose bright colors
the latest fashion
from the hottest shop
to announce my new self
to all who pay attention
to be accepted
into today's world.

Nothing stays the same in nature.







13 comments:

  1. I started this to talk about my personal voyage to shed grief this last year. The notion that we must accept what cannot be changed was the motivating force; plus, with my family still fragile, I didn't want to burden them even more with my sadness.
    Then, midway, as I was editing a few lines, the idea that we change all the time, in big and small ways hit me; then, the idea that the biggest change is to don that change, show people that it is ok to change, to drop the scarf for someone who no longer feels bound by old traditions of wearing a scarf, for instance.
    So, this became bigger than my own instance.

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  3. Isn't it interesting how once the fingers begin to write, we never know what will materialize...it activates a connection with our core. I especially liked the words:
    "to appear the same to those paying attention
    for those who need yesterday to remain in sight."

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  4. i think sometimes we wear the grief, or the difficulty and it does color our lives....and makes it difficult to see some of the other textures of life....and we have to sometimes take that off to be able to move forward...it is you...but bigger as well...and a lesson for us all..

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  5. Nothing does remain or stay the same, but the clouds can sure cover that sometimes, great verse.

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  6. If it's you, YOU, shedding, changing because it's time to do that, then I celebrate your evolving. If it's you thinking that others need to see you moving on or not hear yet more grief, I say it's okay to be where you are for as long as you're there feeling whatever you really feel and letting us know about it until you change. And there's no pressure to. You are perfect just the way you are.

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  7. I'm so glad you donned that scarf.

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  8. great to see you this evening at dverse ma'am...smiles.

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  9. Life is change. Our own bodies are changed out every 7 years. Some changes are welcome, some sought after, some thrust on us, and some we resist with all our might and it does us no good. To resist, I mean.

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  10. Stunning. The second stanza really spoke to me. I related so well because I feel that way so much since Julie died. Then, upon rereading the poem, I wondered at its meaning. Did you have to do that when you went home to visit?

    Choices, changes, reinventing the self, and yet, do we ever really change who we are?

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    1. Sally, I had not seen my eldest son and his family since the funeral last year. He has been battling his own evils; the entire family has been in a fragile setting. I really needed to be the grown-up, leading the way to healing, for all of us needed healing. This poem travels around that decision, to change for those who need that change, and to remain the same for those who anticipate that. Don't we walk a fine line all the time?

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  11. I just read your note. Rosaria, I love this poem! You have really spoken to me in a deep way. I'm not sure I have accepted how I have changed. I still search for the woman who had not been devastated by shock and loss. I still hope she returns. How can she? She no longer exists.

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  12. And when nature changes we accept it, naturally. How is it as women we are caught between the tension of our needs and desires and the stagnant memories of what we are supposed to be because of when we were.

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