Thursday, October 25, 2012

For Millie: Put on a Happy Face, Dear!


300 million for all those sad people everywhere, even in the Disney-made 
happiest place on earth surrounded by 
angels, critters and many blooming possibilities.  
If you don't succeed, there is no one to blame.
 If you work hard enough, and
pray long enough, 
eat the right stuff, purchase the appropriate stuff
cultivate a can-do all attitude,
you can turn into a happy person 
and join all the other happy people on the merry-go-round of life.

If you can't  stand yourself, it's because you're concentrating on your suffering, not on your plan for redemption. 
You can't be seen in public this way. 
are not the right faces
for those who aim to go places.

And you know it!

Monday, October 22, 2012

It gets under your skin...


cold, scratched, swept away, tickled,caressed, 
slowed down, washed, removed,  
and loved by the universe.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Better get ready for the next dance!

This place 
juts out
like a tallus 
 hills and forests scaling ocean stacks for miles
and hours. 
Here, sky and land perform wedding rituals
every year at this time
water stirred into frothy chasm
blurring all boundaries.

You can't see land from sky, ocean from shore, one becomes the other, over and around each other they'll blend into one wet dance, a bitter- slasher- monster- dance
that changes the world as you know it. 

 When it's over, and the sun shines again, you forget the sound and the fury, but for the note on the calendar:
Next year, 

Friday, October 12, 2012

Beneath these Clouds

everything is
pregnant with possibilities,
rain and sun
and wind
and dust
can star in any part
of the garden drama.

you complained
everything was too dry, and your
one inch zucchini were just
sticks drying on the vine.
Who could possibly eat such
bitter fruit?

A cloud heard your wish this morning
and drowned the vines
with sweet abandon.

Now, too big
for ordinary meals
and ordinary recipes,
your zucchini
sit unwanted
on the kitchen counter.

The possibilities are no longer
Too big for one meal,
too much
of a good thing even for your
who politely begged for something
else delivered to her door.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

As time goes by...

This is as close as we get to the sea these days.

All night long, we hear it roar and crash on rocky shores.
Its rhythm  lulls us to sleep every night, loud enough to hush all thoughts.

Its smell is the first thing I notice in the morning, before I make my strong dark brew, as I wash the french press and water my deck plants with the remains of the grounds. I used to sit out in the mornings when we first moved here, fascinated by all the drama out there, the rolling waves, the thundering surf.  I'd sit in my robe and a big blanket and sip my first cup of coffee still in the dark sometimes, sky above, streaks of light from the surf spraying over the rocks below.

This I can still do, for as long as I want, I declare each time I open the sliding door to let the cat out and throw away the old grounds from the urn.

Strength may be slow in returning, I say to my husband as he stops and sits out to recover after a few yards during our daily walks.

It will return, he says with confidence.

We practice our violin for fifteen-twenty minutes a day,(a violin/fiddle we began learning last winter, to get out of our heads, to begin living again!), between television shows, between Jeopardy and The Daily Show. We tune and adjust the instruments for five minutes, do scales for five, attempt a tune for ten. Even before the time is up, my fingers begin to ache, my shoulders too. I stop, go to the bathroom, check the time before declaring myself too tired to continue.

Look, this is a simple tune, he says, before I leave the room,  handing me a sheet of music- Mary Has a Little Lamb- all marked with numbers and letters. Ohhhh! I can do this!!!!

And I try.
And it does sound like the original tune.
How did you know  what numbers and letters go where?
Ah, I read the notations and I wrote them down with numbers for you.
I wish I could read music, I say.
You will...