Expect the unexpected...

Expect the unexpected, or
it can tax your resolve
when you have to change gears
to think everything you hoped for
got cancelled
mid-way
to its fulfillment.

There was always just a small chance
that by the actions of
nature
and circumstances
and infinite variations
could have aborted every
single wish you willed into being.

We're just random forms
swimming in medium whose elements are
mostly unknown, though we have made
charts of some
and  potions of their variations.

We are variations of variations of infinite randomness
a drop of rain hitting the windshield before
other drops smudge it to a poultice.

Counting Back

We can count up
to something we anticipate
becoming more certain
with each telling
of those angles
and bluffs
to be navigated
in the dark
and with each counting
we grow in
confidence at the
veracity of each marker.

But
counting back
to that road full of
potholes and difficult lighting
counting back
verifies the story
even if we missed many markers
even if we ended up at the other
side of the globe.

Like watching a new life
struggle to assert itself to the full light of day
to the full approval of his
elders who have thought of all that could
happen that
didn't happen
all that was feared
that didn't amount to much.

Counting back shines
new light on the moment
puts a frame on the painting
and is now ready to be displayed
and give hope to new voyagers.

Still.

I need to be
still
whenever
and however
the thought of that moment surfaces to
unplug my tear ducts
and become ripples of sorrow
tears of regret, until
the soul reaches the
edge of
a brief
understanding
the hint of an acceptance.

The trauma of the minute
repeats itself. My throat tightens
pins me between the eyes
chokes
all thoughts
disturbs all rhythms.

And the clock stops.

Find me.

She waits for her father to come home
eager to trot away
and play hide and
seek, giggling
and falling
before she
reaches her hiding spot,
getting up and
running away
her favorite game to play
when  daddy is home.
.
Daddy, come and find me,
the last words he remembers.

She hopes he will never stop looking for her.