For decades, ever since I was a young child, I felt good if I had a plan for getting chores done, homework completed, personal hygiene taken care of. Going to bed with dirty dishes in the sink was never a good thing. Not brushing teeth through and through was never an option. That sense of duty ran deep in my veins, and I felt personal satisfaction with getting things done.
Now that I have plenty of leisure time, for sitting around and having many cups of coffee before anything has to happen, before my skills are needed somewhere, I should feel happy and contented under these conditions.
I don't.
The majority of times, I artificially look for things to do, for projects to oversee. Even with gardening, with so much to do, I save things for another day, so all my days feel full.
How ironic!
Interesting post, Rosaria. It is funny how we are wired. We can read all the "words of wisdom" and see the sense in trying to adjust our behaviors but in some things, it always feels like going against the grain. As the scorpion said after stinging the turtle who gave him a ride across the stream..."It just my nature!" :-)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Rosaria. Loved your blog here :)
ReplyDeleteShort Poems
There's a constant humming in the back of my head that I ought to be doing something. Playing around on the computer is one way I force that humming deeper into the background.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting that in retirement, we find ourselves busier than ever. I sometimes wonder how I ever found time to work!
ReplyDeleteAs my mother aged, she created increasingly meaningless make-work projects - meaningless to me, at least. I udnerstand her better now. She needed to have a sense of accomplishment, even if it was just tidying up a cupboard that didn't really need it. I can the potential for heading in the same direction myself.
ReplyDeleteOh, how I relate to this one! You should see my jewelry drawer (I designed it) and my special love- my lingerie drawer (with matching sets now). Nope, not kidding, it's a thing of beauty. When I go to my daughters, I look for projects to do and ask her for some when I run out. Duty runs deep.
ReplyDeleteAs a person whose discipline is ebbing as the days pass, this is interesting. I did always have a sense of duty about certain tasks, and like dianefaith, I always felt I should be doing something other than what I was doing. Now I'm trying to decide if how I am is healthy, or lazy. I do have too much stuff, and it is daunting to face it and whittle it down. I did just take 3 garbage bags of clothing to goodwill! And I only came home with six shirts.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to know I'm not alone with this malady. For it is, when it becomes a compulsion, a sign of servitude of sorts.
ReplyDeleteHappy I'm in good company.
Yeah, I can see what you are saying. I took a sabbatical some time back to have adequete time to read and involve myself in all the stuff I wanted to do but couldn't because of my busy schedule. To work at my own pace. i felt I'd be most happy in this situation. As I have discovered, that is not the case.
ReplyDeletei think we need this feeling of necessity like an infrastructure. i think it is dangerous in many ways. i think it is like a hand to the forhead keeping us away from the real meat of the day. but too, perhaps it saves us.
ReplyDeletexo
erin