Monday, August 15, 2011

I'll concentrate on this scene every day.

Friends and neighbors who might not have known each other until this day worked side by side, day after day, building this garden. I will concentrate on this act, when I'm sad and in pain, and I can't stop the tears. This garden is our metaphor for Brian's life.
I see Jordan on my left, whom I had not seen for twenty years. Facebook friends told him about the death, they all attended the funeral, they all returned to finish the garden after the plank ceremony, after the service at Forest Lawn. Jordan and Johnny, a neighbor friend, in the back, under the pergola, with other friends and family members spent hours working the soil, making a dream come true.

This was their way of saying goodbye, plants and planks in place, building  a better world.
Friendship lives in the acts we perform, the joy we bring to each other, the memories we build.

Today, we are all miles away, but the act of building was real and gave us tangible results.
This is the scene that is etched in my brain when I think about Brian.


  1. This has to be the most lovely, touching tribute I have ever heard of. First of all, the presence of all those who cared. Sometimes, in times of such shock and pain there are no words. All you can do is be present. And then after everyone has returned to their homes to have left behind such a lasting, living reminder. May it soothe your soul.

  2. In the midst of your heart breaking, you have managed to heal our hearts. My profound gratitude.

  3. I have no words that can heal your pain but my heart is with you.

  4. how lucky we are when we have such devotion and love.

    it is such a hard thing, rosaria, and so i've no choice but to look at the luck to survive. i wish you all of the luck, devotion and love a world has to offer.


  5. Such a wonderful way to deal with the pain. May you find comfort.

  6. The act of building giving tangible results. I will remember that.
    I think that is what we need when in pain--to do something physical, to be a part of, and to continue to see the results in the future.
    My heart is with you Rosaria.

  7. What a beautiful, tangible tribute. May you always be among such friends; may you find some comfort in memories. Heart and strength, rosaria--may they bless you always.

  8. On my Facebook Page, a video by one of Brian's friends, with a new composition written by Michael Kohan, a long time friend, playing in the background. You'll see me talk, barely audible, my husband by my side, my other children in the crowd.
    Janet could not have come up with any better activity to give all of us a chance to share, to build, to honor Brian's life.

    Thanks for your kind words.
    Thanks for your visit.

  9. It never ceases to amaze me how much beauty can be born from such sadness and grief. What love there is to behold...

  10. I love the fact that he lives on in memory in the garden
    that is wonderful
    I think of you daily, truly I do
    now the hard work begins

  11. Oh, Rosaria! I was gone a month and returned to find you've experienced the unspeakable loss for any parent. My heart goes out to you even as you commemorate your son by this lovely garden. May it heal your heart, soothe your spirit and be a special place to remember him. Blessings on you and your family.