I'm in a cage.A lonely one. Sad, teary-eyed. Nothing out there calls me out. I'm trapped, licking a wound that won't heal, can't heal.
I should be doing so many other things.
But I sleep and dream a lot. Dreaming and dreaming and dreaming for hours and hours.
I cry quiet tears without immediate stimuli. Everything and everything speaks of Brian's presence. His phone has been on for a month, and he appears to be on chat on Facebook. His friends and fiance are posting his pictures, are talking about him. I feel happy and proud of the love around his name.
I'm frozen. I can't write thank you notes. I can't call anyone.
When I see anyone, I break down in tears.
I have a need to cry.
I have a need to shout.
And a need to ask Divine Justice to set this right!
A mother does not bury her son, I want to shout out. This is wrong! Wrong.
Fix It, God. Fix it.