Saturday, June 30, 2012

Searching for the whole package.

Ever on the road
an eye on the past
an ear to the future
a melody  stuck in the teeth
after that happy meal on the Pearblossom Highway 
one desert giving way to another
with valleys in between
Antelope, Moreno, Simi 
looking for Pacific winds
and promises of rain
America stretching in the rear-view mirror
getting tired and fatter by the miles.

We must have thought those drive-ins around the corner
the one with cute girls on rollerskates
delivering American food by the quarter pound
at our windows,
an all-American meal with fries and a coke
and a milk-shake for the road ahead,
we must have thought the future had arrived,
with that meal, those girls, and straight teeth smiles everywhere.

Home is just above the ridge line
you told your children
squeezed in the back seats, fumbling with their 
promised happiness toys from the last food stop.

Truth was nowhere in sight, you kept discovering, decade after decade, in the mist
of forgetfulness and desire for a change
truth was never a known fact like cooking for five remained
after the five were no longer around
and then the two of you
kept bringing home Oreos and chocolate chips. 
You hid the cookies by placing them on the top shelf
ignoring the fact that you were the only one who couldn't reach the top shelf.

Houses got bigger when you no longer needed them so big.
And quiet.

Your idea of a perfect house
where no one would
forget to call home when they were late
with children's drawings on the refrigerator and a calendar with dental appointments
and times for cupcakes to be delivered to school,
must have been a story you read in a fiction book.


  1. Oh Rosaria, today is a day of rememberance
    when it rises like a snake up our throats
    and we yearn for what was
    but really, it was always changing
    But love remains
    until the light turns off
    and then we take our lantern with us
    hug....there will be campfire of lanterns
    This was a beautiful but sorrow- filled post
    thank you for sharing...

    1. "But love remains until the light turns off..."
      Oh Suz, what beautiful sentiments here. Thanks.

  2. Yes, the house does sometimes seem big and empty.

  3. Even better than the earlier one, rosaria.
    we must have thought the future had arrived,
    with that meal, those girls, and straight teeth smiles everywhere.

    Love that imagery. But...remembrance? Oh...
    Hugs to you.

  4. Beautiful and poignant. "Truth was nowhere in sight, you kept discovering decade after decade." Yes.

  5. ever the more reason to be in the moment then, eh, rosaria. beautiful imagery, sad but is anything of value unless we have the chance of losing it? no. this is the way it is all constructed.

    i laugh. my children left yesterday morning for the summer. bending down to retrieve a coffee can this morning from our extras shelf i found a bag of oreos. i thought, now what do i do with this? :) all of my craving for an ordered house and here i am in an empty box this morning.

    we should kiss each moment)))


  6. what we crave in any moment is not necessarily what we really want.....or need. but we don't ever know that at the time, do we? we live so much outside moments, always looking to the next - better - moment, when we will really enjoy life. and they we look back at these very moments and pine for them.

    your words evoke such strong emotions in me, rosaria. and make me realize what funny creatures we humans are

  7. I am almost heartbroken by this poem. It speaks to me in a way you can never imagine. You capture what is in my heart and mind. You capture what I myself cannot put into words. The bigger the house, the more quiet it seems. I wonder if I can even lure some of the children to my big house over the coming weekend. I think they will prefer the cramped quarters of a townhouse that requires less driving. I'm not sure they even remember where home is.

  8. Yes, the yearning for the perfect house but empty of those we love is empty indeed. Presence to our loved ones in every moment is such a better option. Love is the answer. Sadness permeates this good reminder.