 |
| Gathering in the garden (blog: Myfrenchcountryhome) |
 |
| future front terrace vignette (not yet) (blog:Myfrenchcountryhome) |
These places are inviting, clamoring for guests and family.
What will always be missing? My people, people who have passed, people whose lives are too convoluted to make time to be here, people who live too far away.
The more I fix my nest, my garden, my spaces, the more I feel these losses. I will never have my mother, father, aunts, uncles, brothers, cousins, people I grew up with, people I wish I could be with.
My eldest son in California is unable to travel long distances, and he too will never be here.
My other son died a few months ago. He loved this place. He came up to Oregon as often as he could.
The last time he was here he borrowed a tiller, took it apart and stuffed it in the trunk of his car. He had ideas about renovating his back yard. ( You might remember that his friends made that possible for his memorial.)
Notice how this space is dog-friendly. Butters and Walrus (Brian's and Pia's dogs, respectively) would be gathering under the table, waiting for treats.
Yet, I continue to dream, to gather in these places.
I continue to live.
I breathe deeply and carry on.
I wish there was a "LIKE" button here... guess I'll have to do it on facebook. :)
ReplyDeleteMy heart is so full for you. I especially feel this longing for those who are most dear -- especially at this time of year as for many years I would plan large Easter celebrations with my family and friends. Now all my children are spread from Korea to Italy and this year my youngest is off to surf in Cornwall with his new girlfriend. We thought my husband's sister would be here, but she, too has made other plans. So I shall be grateful that at least we do have each other.
ReplyDeleteYour table and terrace are beautiful and remind me so much of the joy of Italian al fresco dining.
I live where family lives and I'm around old school friends . . . but I don't see any of them very often. People simply don't visit the way they did some years ago. We were all so busy for a long time, and we forgot how to connect. Having a young grandchild here is our diamond. As all children are, he's a people collector. . . will go running right up to a neighbor's door and knock, while I'm holding back.
ReplyDeleteI understand this all too well. I sometimes feel that way about the dreams I had to create the gathering places in my garden. At times, I just want to move to a condo and forget it all. Thank you for the last few lines. I am also trying to do the same thing. I just saw a garden tonight and was thinking how I could adapt some the ideas to fit mine. Life needs to be rich and full. We need these gathering places.
ReplyDeletei think we, must MUST let go of linear time, rosaria, and invite them all into our spaces every day. we must never be without them. we must break through this barrier of body. (you understand? i know you do. you must.)))
ReplyDeletexo
erin